It’s been a busy few days of low-key living. That’s really the only way to describe our first days at home. Reece has done very well, all things considered. We have been to clinic for the last three days, which has been exhausting for him. It is so much more activity than he is used to…when he gets home, he basically has to nap for an hour or two. His temps have been down, his weight has been down. We have fared pretty well with managing medicines and procedures out of our home. We knew it would become more routine and it has, although we still have a long way to go to get into feeling normal.
A few things are concerning to me. First, Reece’s appetite has decreased in the last couple of days. Second, he has been vomiting at home, although he has no fever as of yet and no other signs of illness. Third, he is on a massive amount of diuretics, which are annoying his kidneys. I believe that these things will resolve themselves, but it would be good to see that resolution soon. His diuretics have begun to be tapered already.
Yesterday was my last day in clinic until I have the baby. I go in this morning to get the final game plan, but if all else fails, I have a c-section scheduled for Monday morning. Last Monday, the baby had flipped into the correct position, but had not dropped, so they would not induce labor. If she is still in the correct position (I am very skeptical that this is the case), they will begin induction on Sunday evening. If not, they will proceed with the version/c-section plan on Monday. Regardless, I am ready to go; I still can’t believe that we will have a newborn in a few days!
Britta will be back to our home next week–yay! Hooray for my two-year-old and all of her energy being back in our home!
It’s strange being at home right now, but a good strange. It is the calm before the storm meets the calm after the storm. I realize that anything can still happen with Reece’s health, but now that things seem to be leveling off a little, it almost makes me feel more paranoid that it will all be snatched away. Truly, I feel more on edge about “smaller” things with Reece than I did in the hospital and more on edge about the baby (especially if she is moving, paranoia about the birth, etc) than I ever have before. I chalk it up to the realization about the fragility of life. I know life doesn’t work this way, but again, when the benefit of the odds being with you has not transpired as such, you begin to feel like that benefit will never be with you. It isn’t rational, but it has been a part of our reality for so many months that it will take some work getting back to relaxation regarding life. Additionally, our family feels like it is in infancy again. It takes many hands to make our life run right now…doctors, nurses, family members, friends, nanny, cleaning lady, grocery delivery, home care people. I hope we continue to trend towards independence for our sake and the sake of all involved. When I first left my home after high school, I struggled with the independent nature of adulthood. I craved having people help me out–I wanted, in some odd way, to not be left to my own devices. Now, well into adulthood, I realize what a gift it is to be able to manage one’s life independently. It’s a sign of health–all around health–when you aren’t having to rely on other people just to get through the daily tasks of life.
Is it possible that next week our family of five will be together? I am praying that it will happen.